


On The Bleachers

by lupus



Series: Stucky AUs [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Background Cartinelli, Coming Out, Dumb boys being dumb, First Kiss, Fluff and (slight) Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of Chronically Ill Steve, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupus/pseuds/lupus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school sucks. High school sucks even more when you're bisexual and secretly in love with your best friend. Especially when you're bisexual, secretly in love with your best friend, and think your best friend is completely straight. So who are we talking about, Steve or Bucky?<br/>Both of them.<br/>They're both giant idiots.</p><p>A High School AU in which Steve and Bucky needlessly pine after each other but end up <i>finally</i> getting their heads out of their asses and do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are brief mentions of both the boys/others but fear not they really only have eyes for each other and none of their other flings last very long.  
> All of the illnesses of Steve's mentioned are canonical to pre-serum Steve. I didn't include all of them (cause there are a lot) but I tried to mention/fit as many in as naturally as possible.

            Steve _really_ wasn’t jealous.

            He wasn’t, okay? It wasn’t the fact that he had to watch as Bucky flirted with some new girl from across the courtyard at lunch. It was just that once they were over and done with – probably within the next week or two – Steve would have to deal with the aftermath. He always had to deal with the aftermath.

            They’d come to Steve, sweet, approachable Steve, asking if he could give them any insight on Bucky. Why he wasn’t returning their texts or calls. It wasn’t that Bucky did it to be cruel. On the contrary, Bucky felt pretty guilty about it sometimes.

            But every time, as soon as things started to get anything close to more than just a fling, Bucky hightailed it out of there. Whether it was fear of commitment or intimacy issues, Bucky’s infatuations never seemed to last long and he always tended to back out.

            Steve could deal with that.

            But he knew it wouldn’t always be the case. At some point – whether it be this year or in college or wherever down the line – Bucky would find a girl. And then Steve would face his worst fear – losing his best friend. Bucky wouldn’t need him anymore.

            “You might want to make your staring a little less obvious,” Peggy whispered in his ear. Peggy was the only person he’d told about his long-standing, debilitating crush on his best friend. “Besides, he’s coming back over here, anyways.”

            “Heartbreaker Barnes, at it again!” Tony crowed as Bucky joined them at their designated lunch table outside for the warmer months. Het sat in between Natasha and Pepper, as to be directly across from Steve.

            “Guess who’s going to the movies this Friday with Abbie?” Bucky said, a wide grin spread over his face.

            “That’s great, Buck,” Steve said, smiling and trying to sound as genuine as possible. “Abbie’s a great girl - very smart, very pretty.”

            Bucky gave him a weird look at that, one Steve couldn’t read, and Steve hoped he hadn’t given himself away. Before Bucky or Steve could say anything further, Tony leaned over Pepper demanding details from Bucky about Abbie and their upcoming date.

            Steve chose to tune out, going back to eating his sandwich and reading his book.

            “Oh, Angie wants me to come by her locker before class,” Peggy said, checking a text on her phone. “See you later in AP Gov?”

            “’Course, Peg. Say hi to Angie for me,” Steve said, throwing her a smug grin over his shoulder. Peggy just ruffled his hair before collecting her things and walking back into the school building.

            Once Tony was done with his line of questioning, Bucky turned back to Steve.

            “You free to hang out after school?”

            “Can’t,” Steve said. And though it wasn’t a lie he also didn’t want to sit around and listen to Bucky talk about his new fling all afternoon. “Gotta meet my ma over at the hospital for my injection. It’s that time of the month.”

            Freshman year Steve had gotten sick, which wasn’t unusual for Steve, but that time around it’d been the worst Steve had ever gotten. He was very weak, and bruising at everything and eventually had to be hospitalized. Thankfully his ma was a nurse, so she knew almost immediately from his symptoms, along with the fact that they had a family history, that it had the possibility of being pernicious anemia. Steve’s blood work had shown she was right. Most people weren’t diagnosed until they were adults or even elders, so it was a little shocking for Steve to be diagnosed so young.

            It was a livable condition; Steve just had to be very careful and had to get a b-12 shot once a month to keep his red blood cell count up. It was more a nuisance in Steve’s opinion than anything – though he was thankful for modern medicine and the injections – and it was just another thing to add to Steve’s long list of maladies.

            When Bucky pulled a concerned face, Steve sighed.

            “Bucky, don’t even start.”

            “Start with what?” Bucky asked but his innocence was feigned.

            “Pullin’ that damn face and treating me like I’m an invalid every time I even mention one of my illnesses,” Steve replied, frustrated. He knew Bucky just cared about him a lot, but Steve can’t help but feel coddled. “I’ve lived this long with all of ‘em, I’m pretty sure I’ll live through a _shot_.”

            The bell rang, saving Steve from this ever-present argument. He grabbed his backpack quickly; he’d have to stop by his locker before AP Art anyways so he needed to get a move on.

            “Steve, wait!” Bucky called after him as Steve disappeared into the crowd moving back inside. “You know I didn’t mean it like that!”

            Steve did know. And he also knew he was being unfair. But Bucky’s concern added to the fact that Bucky had a date this Friday with a very pretty, probably perfectly healthy, girl didn’t help ease Steve’s temper.

            He got to art a little early, and immediately started on his first project piece, a watercolor painting on their choice of subject. The AP exam at the end of the year was basically a portfolio, and he’d more than likely use some of the same pieces (plus a few from years past) in his college applications too.

            Natasha came in right before the bell, settling in at the easel next to Steve, per usual. Sometimes they talked as they painted, but mostly they sat in a comfortable silence.

            “You know it’s just because he cares about you right?” Natasha asked about ten minutes into art. Her painting was all blacks and reds, yet intricate and beautiful.

            Steve rubbed the back of his neck with his brush-less hand.

            “Yeah, I know. He has every reason to, too,” Steve shrugged. “It’s just not exactly fun for me to be reminded of how much he worries and thinks I’m gonna keel over dead _any_ time I mention a single one of the things that’s wrong with me. You know how it gets. He’s my best friend but I don’t need to be treated like his responsibility. It makes me feel weak.”

            “We both know Bucky thinks you’re the strongest person he’s ever met,” She pointed out.

            “He doesn’t treat me that way though,” Steve reasoned. “None of the rest of you treats me as delicately as he does.”

            “I wonder why that is?” Natasha mused.

            “I honestly don’t know Nat, I don’t get it.”

            Natasha just gave him her “you’re hopeless look” but Steve didn’t quite understand why.

 

* * *

 

            Bucky was distracted in his AP World History class. Normally, that wasn’t the case. It was only the 3rd week of the semester, but he could already tell APWS was going to be one of his favorite classes. History was his shit (with a name like James Buchanan Barnes and two history-nut parents, it wasn’t unexpected), but today he just couldn’t immerse himself

            Of course he’d made sure Steve had a clear view of him and Abbie earlier and of course he’d come bragging back to the table. But he knew Steve saw right through him. Knew that by the next week or the one after Bucky would be done with Abbie.

            Steve had asked him about it constantly – Bucky didn’t do these things on purpose and Steve knew it. But Steve always asked why, tried to help Bucky figure it out (“Is it…intimacy issues?” “Maybe you just haven’t found the right girl?” “Maybe you’re asexual or aromantic? Those are things you know.”).

            But, god, how was Bucky supposed to say to Steve “No I’m pretty sure the reason I can’t let myself be with any of these beautiful, amazing girls throwing themselves at him is because I’m hung up on you.”

            He didn’t know if he was gay or just too blinded by Steve, but it had been a long time since he’d gone further than to kiss the girls he’d gone out with. None of them could hold his interest. But it wasn’t something Bucky had gotten the nerve to admit to _anyone_ yet. Even if he was pretty sure Natasha knew, but Natasha knew him better than anyone – save for Steve. That, and Natasha also knew everything about everyone. She was too smart for her own good.

            And then he’d gone and pissed Steve off, making the kid run off in a huff before Bucky could defend himself.

            He knew it frustrated the hell out of Steve when Bucky got weird about his illnesses. But it was the mention of the B-12 shot that always got to Bucky. All Bucky could think about any time it’s brought up was that horrible week freshman year when Steve ended up in the hospital.

            Steve had been over at Bucky’s the night he was hospitalized. They’d been just hanging out and goofing around when Steve passed out on him right then there in Bucky’s room. It took some panicked yelling to his parents as well as getting Sarah Rogers from next door to get anything done.

            Bucky’s father had picked Steve up into his arms – Steve had looked so tiny and fragile – and carried him out to Sarah’s car. The entire time, between his and Steve’s parents showing up until the next day when Bucky visited Steve in the hospital, he’d felt so hopeless. He couldn’t do anything but sit there and wonder if Steve disappearing out his front door limp in his father’s arms would be the last time he’d ever see his best friend again.

            That was the most terrifying thought of all. Bucky needed Steve. Regardless of any romantic attraction he had to his best friend, life without Steve Rogers wasn’t something Bucky ever wanted to face.

 

* * *

 

 

            It was Friday night and Steve was lying on Peggy’s bedroom floor, both of them chatting and watching Parks and Rec on her laptop. The rest of their friends, other than Bucky, had either gone to or were playing in the football game that night.

            It was an away game this week, and normally Steve would’ve gone but it just so happens that Steve may or may not have picked a fight with a guy from the opposing school who’d made an inappropriate remark to Natasha last time their school played Northridge and was banned from said school’s football stadium. He really wasn’t all that upset about it. He liked football all right but he really only went because of his friends and Bucky.

            And try as he might to focus on watching Netflix with Peggy –

            “You’re thinking about Bucky, aren’t you?” Peggy drawled.

            “No of course not!” Steve lied, and Peggy just raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him to signify that she saw through all his bullshit. He thought sometimes that he and Peggy could’ve been something, something great. But poor timing and being pulled in other directions by other people kept it from happening. He was too invested in Bucky, and she was head over heels with Angie.

            It was nice though, having a friend like Peggy, second only to Bucky really but sometimes better because there wasn’t that whole “I’m secretly in love with you and trying to hide it” barrier between them.

            “Ugh of course I’m thinking about him!” Steve exclaimed. “But it’s getting harder and harder to sit and listen to him talk about these girls and the things he’s done with these girls and pretend to be happy for him!

            “When I wasn’t aware of how grossly in love I am with him, I was actually genuinely excited for him. I think he started noticing though, that I wasn’t as nearly enthusiastic cause he’s started to water it down since then. Lately he’s only mentioned kissing. Maybe he thinks it makes me uncomfortable or jealous that I’ve never even really kissed anyone.”

            “But what about –” Peggy began, but Steve cut her off.

            “That doesn’t count,” Steve said, effectively ending that train of the conversation. Peggy held her hands up in surrender.

            “Okay then. But you can’t be upset with him when you haven’t even told him how you feel Steve. It’s not fair to Bucky.”

            “I know it’s not fair,” Steve grumbled. “But it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell him.”

            “You’re afraid you’ll lose him as a friend?” Peggy asked sounding completely doubtful. “Because never in a million years would Bucky step away from you for being bi, and or having feelings for him.”

            Steve shook his head, “it’s not even that. I know that, you’re right. But now…I can fantasize, I can hope. If I tell him then that hope will be crushed for good and for real.”

            “Or that not so far off fantasy of yours could come to life,” Peggy reasoned.

            “Yeah but why the hell would he want some skinny asthmatic kid who wore a back brace until sophomore year of high school when he has the prettiest girls at this school – other than you, Natasha, Pep and Jane of course – clamoring to just get a date with him?”

            “Because none of them are you,” Peggy said softly and simply, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “You don’t see the way he looks at you Steve.”

            “Bucky has never been afraid to take what he wants. When he likes someone, he asks ‘em out. What should make me any different?”

            Peggy just sighed her “I’m so done with you, Steven Grant Rogers” sigh and pressed “play” on the screen.

            “Maybe someday the two of you will stop being total idiots,” She muttered to the screen.

            Steve ignored her, trying to focus all his attention back onto Parks. He was dreading going home later and getting a text from Bucky all about his date. Whatever. He’d just lay on the floor once he was back home, listen to “You Belong With Me” on repeat, and accept his terrible, lonely fate.

            He waited up pretty late for Bucky to call or text him or even come over, but none of it ever happened.  Sometime a little past midnight, he looked out his window to see if Bucky’s car was parked out front. Maybe it was just a bad date and Bucky was wallowing or something. If that’s the case, he should at least text Bucky to make sure everything’s okay.

            Then again maybe Bucky was still upset with Steve for the other day,

            But the Barnes’ driveway was missing Bucky’s black sedan, the only car currently parked being Mr. Barnes’ work car.

            Steve felt his stomach knot up. If Bucky wasn’t home, that could only mean one thing – he was probably off fooling around with the girl in a dark parking lot somewhere.

            Feeling shittier than he had all night, Steve turned off his light and went to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

            Bucky smiled, waving at Abbie as she flounced through her front door, throwing at grin at him over her shoulder. It should be endearing. Bucky should be feeling butterflies or at least something, cause that’s what was supposed to happen after you take a pretty girl to the movies and then kiss her goodnight in the car outside her house.

            But Bucky felt nothing.

            Once she’d disappeared into her house, Bucky sat back into his seat and groaned, rubbing his eyes. He knew why of course. Had always known why. He wasn’t even sure if he was still even into girls but he’d hoped that maybe, just maybe, by continuing to date them, he’d get Steve off his mind.

            Obviously none of it was working.

            He pulled his phone out of his front pocket and dialed Natasha.

            “Shouldn’t you be making out with that girl in some abandoned parking lot by now?” Natasha asked in lieu of a greeting.

            “I’m pretty sure I’m gay for Steve and only Steve,” He blurted, not really sure how to break into this conversation naturally.

            Natasha cursed in Russian on the other end of the line, “congratulations on stating the obvious, James. I’m proud of you for coming to the least shocking realization ever.”

            Of course Natasha knew. She was too goddamn observant for her own good.

            “Look, Nat. Can I just please come over for a bit. I’m afraid if I go home now I’ll do something dumb and throw rocks at Steve’s window and confess my love to him or some shit.”

            “In that case, no you can’t come over,” Bucky could hear the smirk in her voice.

            “ _Natasha_ ,” he whined. He was not above whining. “Please!”

            “Ugh, fine you big baby. See you in five”

            She let him in before he even had the chance to knock on her door. He didn’t say anything as he entered the house, only grunted and walked past Natasha and up the stairs. When he got to her room, he plopped down face first on her bed.

            “Sure, Barnes,” She drawled as she followed him into the room, shutting the door behind her. “Make yourself at home.”

            He only mumbled at litany of curses into her comforter. She should be used to his shit by now.

            “So, when are you gonna tell him?” she asked, and Bucky flipped over onto his back giving Natasha a “are you _kidding_ ” look.

            “Uh, never?”

            “Real solid plan there,” Natasha rolled her eyes. “I’m sure that’ll work out in your favor.”

            “It sure as hell is better than Steve laughing in my face and or never wanting to speak to me again.”

            Natasha sighed and moved so that she was sitting next to Bucky on the bed, stroking her fingers gently through his hair.

            “Do you honestly believe Steve would ever do either of those things to you, or any one else for that matter?” She asked softly. And fuck, Natasha’s gentle side coming out meant that she sensed something was seriously up with Bucky. Which was true, but he was trying to hide it.

            “’Course not, Nat,” Bucky sighed. “I just…I can’t lose Steve. I don’t want things to get weird.”

            “So you’re just going to drown in your feelings and pine from a distance?”

            “That sounds like the best course of action,” Bucky agreed.

            “So when the inevitable happens and someone else sees what you see in Steve you’ll sit back and let it happen, no interference?”

            Bucky swallowed, he wanted to clench his fists at just the thought. “Yeah, course.”

            “Bullshit,” Nat called, flicking his ear. “Big, ole bullshit, Barnes. I’m calling it right now.”

            “Hey, that’s not fair!” Bucky said, sitting up quickly in order to glare at Natasha directly. “You know I’d be happy for him.”

            “Oh really?” She said in her _I’m about to roast you_ voice. “So what about what happened with Lorraine last year, huh?”

            “She wasn’t good enough for him, Nat. Her intentions weren’t pure! Steve deserves better.”

            He knew Natasha saw through his bullshit.

            “You think you’re good enough for him?” She eventually settled on, knowing Bucky wouldn’t budge on the Lorraine thing.

            “Hell no. No one is.  But, hey at least my intentions are pure.”

            “Are they?” Natasha asked, suspiciously quirking an eyebrow.

            Bucky fell back onto the bed with a huff.

            “So pure. Like obviously I think about, y’know _that_ stuff sometimes. But mostly I just want to hold him and kiss his dumb face and tell him how much he means to me,” Bucky sighed.

            “Good god, you’ve got it bad, Barnes,” Natasha said, feigning disgust. Bucky heard the laughter underneath it all. “Such a goddamned sap.”

            “Tell me about it,” Bucky groaned, covering his face with one of Natasha’s pillows.

 

* * *

 

 

            It had been at one of Stark’s parties last year – the whole Lorraine thing. Everyone had been pretty damn drunk, except for Steve who was Bucky and Natasha’s designated driver for the night.

            Bucky was out with a girl on what had become an impromptu dance floor in Tony’s cavernous living room when he caught sight of Steve and some girl talking by one of the huge glass windows across the room. 

            Lorraine was blonde and very cute, a pixyish face with a button nose that crinkled every time she laughed at something Steve said – which seemed to be a lot. Steve was blushing and rubbing the back of his neck, but he didn’t look overly uncomfortable and his body language showed that he was pretty in to whatever exchange was going on.

            And she was looking back at Steve like she definitely wanted a piece of that. The girl Bucky was dancing with turned around and kissed him shortly after so Bucky got pretty preoccupied for a good few minutes. When they came up for air, Bucky saw that Steve was now alone by the staircase. Bucky made eye contact with him from across the room, throwing him a grin and a wink.

            Steve just looked down, shook his head, and left his post at the staircase to head upstairs. Parties overwhelmed him pretty easily – it was a common occurrence for Steve to slip upstairs for an hour and come back down in time to take everyone home. Drunk Bucky just wished he’d let loose and have fun, but sober Bucky understood that too much alcohol upset Steve’s reoccurring stomach ulcers.

            Bucky parted with the girl he’d been dancing with at some point and went to chill on the sofas with Nat, Clint and Sam. Eventually the party dwindled down, and Natasha ordered Bucky to go fetch Steve so they could all leave. Assuming he was hiding in one of Stark’s guestrooms playing Candy Crush or something like he usually did, Bucky headed upstairs.

            Bucky ambled down the upstairs hallway to the room that Steve normally escaped to, expecting to see him laying all cute and drowsy across the bed like he always did. But instead, Bucky was greeted with the sight of an empty bed and something way less cute on the far wall.

            The squelching sound of two people being shocked out of kissing is probably one of the worst sounds Bucky had ever heard when Steve was on the receiving end of it. Lorraine stepped back from where she had Steve against the wall and threw a curious look over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. Steve’s face was beet red, whether from the kissing or being caught Bucky wasn’t quite sure.

            He cleared his throat, “Um, Nat and I are down to leave whenever you are. Uh…no rush though, we’ll be downstairs.”

            He tried to make a graceful exit, shutting the door behind him as gently as possible. He walked back to the couches in a sort of daze, plopping down next to Natasha

            “Steve’s upstairs…making out with Lorraine. So we may be here a bit longer,” Bucky said to Natasha, trying to sound like he was happy his best friend was finally getting some. Natasha gave him a weirdly sympathetic look and it started to say something but Steve was making his way down the stairs.

            “Or maybe not,” She said instead.

            Steve caught Bucky’s eye then immediately looked away, motioning for Bucky and Natasha to follow him outside to his car.

            “So, you and Lorraine huh?” Natasha had asked, five minutes into the otherwise painfully silent car ride. “She’s a cutie.”

            Bucky could see Steve’s ears go red, even in the dim light of the car.

            “Ah, _jesus_ Buck, didya tell everyone or something?”

            “No, Tasha asked what was taking you so long so I told her,” Bucky said. Natasha didn’t call him out on his lie, just shook her head at him.

            “I really don’t think it was anything serious. Maybe she was really drunk or something? I don’t know,” Steve said, sounding really unsure. “I mean we all know this doesn’t ever happen to me. I don’t know what to make of it.”

            “You could always ask her?” Nat offered.

            “Natasha you and I both know I’m no good at talking to girls,” Steve shook his head. “I’d probably ruin any chance I had with her before I even really got one by putting my foot in my mouth as soon as I open it to talk to her.”

            “I can talk to her for you,” Bucky offered, and _what the fuck was he doing._ “See what it was all about on her end, you know?”

            “You’d do that for me?”

            “’Course I would, Stevie. Anything for my best guy.”

            The next school day at lunch, Bucky’d approached Lorraine in the lunchroom – getting her alone and away from both their friends.

            “So you and Steve?” He asked, trying to sound like a curious friend and probably failing.

            “Me and Steve?” She repeated narrowing her eyes with an almost-smirk on her face.

            “We both know what I walked in on the other night at Stark’s. He’s my best friend and very innocent in the ways of girls, so if you did it as a dare or some fucked up thing like that then – ”

            “I kissed Steve because he’s funny and cute and I wanted to kiss him,” Lorraine cut him off, a little fiercely. “What’s your damage, Barnes? It’s not like he didn’t want me to kiss him. You should tell him to text me. I wouldn’t mind kissing him again sometime.”

            Bucky just clenched his jaw and nodded, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as he could. He should be happy for Steve, he thought. Finally, someone saw in Steve what Bucky did. He should be happy that a girl wanted to kiss his best friend. But all Bucky felt was a cold weight settling into the pit of his stomach. He walked back to the group’s lunch table settling back down between Natasha and Steve.

            He should’ve told Steve right then and there that Lorraine was in to him, that he should go ask her out or something.

            But instead all that came out was, “Honestly Steve I’d just forget about her. She’s not worth it.”     

            His heart clenched as he saw the dejected look on Steve’s face.

            “What’d she say?” Natasha asked, curiously – though Bucky knew that if he told her Lorraine kissed Steve out of malice, Natasha would find some way to exact her revenge on the poor girl. Bucky may be a shitty person, but he wasn’t a total dick. He didn’t want Lorraine to suffer on Bucky’s behalf.

            “Don’t worry about it Natasha,” He said, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. “She’s just not worth it. I’m sorry Stevie.” He gripped his friend’s shoulder, only half for Steve’s benefit.

            “Hey, it’s okay. I appreciate you asking for me though,” Steve’s smile was genuine and guilt flooded through Bucky.

            Their friends sensed the hurt that was there though – even if Steve didn’t necessarily have feelings for Lorraine, rejection’s never a nice feeling – so it was hardly ever brought up again.

 

* * *

 

 

            Steve woke up on Saturday morning to two texts – one from Tony and the other from Bucky. Tony’s was a mass text inviting everyone over to swim on what was probably one of the last hot days of September before the autumn chill began to sweep in. Bucky had texted Steve asking if he was going to Stark’s and if he wanted a ride.

            Steve peeked out his window. He tried, and failed, not to wonder what time Bucky got home last night. Oh well. He decided the night before that he refused to let his own personal jealousies come in between his and Bucky’s friendship. He texted an affirmative back to both Stark and Bucky and went to tell his mom he was going out in a bit.

            Around noon, Steve met Bucky out by his car already clad in swim trunks with a towel in hand.

            “You remember your sunscreen?” Bucky asked in way of a greeting.

            “Yes, mom,” Steve grumbled, yanking the passenger side door open with a bit too much force.

            “Hey, I’m just checkin’,” Bucky feigned innocence. “You burn within five minutes and we know both our mothers will never let us hear the end of it if you get burnt out there today.”

            Steve conceded, he knew that’s pretty true, and the conversation fell into their normal, easy banter.

            Steve didn’t ask about the date, Bucky didn’t offer any information.

            They parked along Stark’s expansive driveway and let themselves through the gate leading to the backyard and pool. They could already hear the telltale sounds of their friends laughing and splashing. 

            A chorus of “hi!” greeted them as they set their bags down on Stark’s huge back deck. Bucky stripped his shirt off and immediately cannon-balled into the pool. He popped back up above the water grinning as he flicked his hair, flinging water everywhere.

            God, Bucky looked so happy and carefree and beautiful, rivulets of water trailing down his face, his collarbone, down his pecks – and Steve really needed to stop _right there_ because swim trunks and best friend related boners did not go well together.

            “C’mon Steve, the water’s great!” Bucky called and the others in the pool mimicked with their agreement.

            “I gotta put my sunscreen on first, remember?” Steve called back, slightly embarrassed.

            “I’ll help you,” Peggy offered from where she was stretched out on one of Stark’s loungers on the deck…next to Angie. Interesting. Steve was gonna have to give her props for inviting Angie along when they had a moment alone.

            “Nah you stay where you are and relax,” Bucky said, quickly making his way to the edge of the pool and hopping out. “I got this.”

            And before Steve knew it, his very hot, very wet best friend was making his way towards him saying “Shirt off, Stevie.”

            Steve gulped, decidedly refusing to think of Bucky saying those exact words in a very different type of situation. Instead he quickly shucked his shirt, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen so he could get this over with.

            “I really just need you to get my back,” Steve said handing the bottle over to Bucky when his friend reached him on the deck.

            “Nope,” Bucky said, pouring a very small amount onto the fingertips of his left hand. “Face first. You always forget your face _and_ your ears. And we don’t want your pretty skin to get all red now do we?”

            Steve flushed at that as Bucky rubbed his hands together gently wiping the lotion across Steve’s forehead and down his nose. Once he was done with Steve’s face and ears he motioned for Steve to turn around, picking the lotion back up again.

            Bucky started at his shoulders, getting the back of his arms and neck while he was at it. As his hands made their way down past Steve’s shoulder blades, Steve had to fight the urge to shiver. Bucky was doing his job, but it was almost like there was something else behind his touches. It seemed like they were a little too lingering, too gentle than the normal types of touches – quick and perfunctory – that someone would use while applying sunscreen. But for all Steve knew it could just be his imagination.

            Bucky cleared his throat after he finished the lowest strip of Steve’s back, right above his swim trunks.

            “D’ya want help with the rest?” Bucky asked reaching for the sunscreen, but Steve got to it first.

            “I’m good from here, thanks Buck,” Steve said, thankful that his voice didn’t waver. Bucky’s eyes just roamed Steve’s face as he nodded. Something in the air between them was charged, and Steve swallowed – his heart raced faster and faster with every passing second.

            “Hey Barnes why don’t you stop feeling Rogers up and come back to the pool and play chicken with us,” Tony called from the shallow end.

            Whatever was going on between them was immediately gone after Tony’s comment – Bucky froze up, looking almost panicked. He quickly put on his easy-going, charming smile though before he turned back to Tony to give him his answer,

            “Alright, I’m in. You’re going down, Stark!”

            Tony informed him it would be Bucky and Maria vs. Tony and Pepper, then Nat and Clint vs. Thor and Jane and then the two winners would “brawl to death” or something like that. Sam and Rhodey were to be the refs, and so they sat back-to-back on the diving board as a vantage point. Steve rolled his eyes, going to join Peggy and Angie on the loungers where he could watch at a safe distance and finish putting on the rest of his sunscreen.

            He sat and chatted with the girls, laughing along with them as their friends made fools of themselves. Nat and Clint came out on top – of course. Natasha could take anyone down and Steve’s pretty sure Clint’s parents were once part of the circus so he was not only a hell of a lot stronger than he looked but he was also very clever and knew shit about balance and stuff like that. Or something. Either way, Natasha and Clint were the dream team.

            Eventually, Steve joined everyone in the pool. He usually opted to hanging around the shallow end talking with Sam or Jane or reclining on one of those body length pool floaters and just floating about.

            He tended to try to stay out of the rough housing, as water, lack of oxygen and asthma don’t really tend to mix very well. After a few hours everyone started to get out, dry off and make their way out – saying their goodbyes and “see you at school”s.

            As Steve and Bucky pulled their shirts back on and gathered up their things, Steve watched a frown cross Bucky’s face as he checked his phone for the first time since they got there.

            “Everything okay?” Steve asked as they made their way to the car.

            Bucky quickly schooled his expression, “yeah, great actually! Um you know how my first home soccer game of the season is Tuesday night?”

            Steve nodded.

            “Well Abbie had the great idea that afterwards me, you, her and her friend Hanna, from your AP Art class, should go out for ice cream. I guess Hanna has a thing for you and Abbie wants to set you guys up? I know you hate being set up on double dates with me so I can just tell Abbie you’re busy – ”

            “No, that sounds fine to me,” Steve says and _what the fuck._ Oh god, what was he getting himself into? “I mean Hanna’s really sweet, the least I can do is give her a chance. And I was planning on coming to your game anyways, so why not.”

            “O-okay,” Bucky said, giving Steve a weird look. It wasn’t unwarranted though, Steve hadn’t said yes to single double date in the past year. “I guess I’ll just text Abbie back and tell her it’s a go.”

            “I mean,” Steve started, “unless you don’t want to hang out with Abbie? We don’t have to. But if you’re in, so am I.”

            “No I, uh, Abbie’s great. Course I wanna go on another date with her, ‘specially a double date with my best guy. Nothing sounds better than that.”

            And though he sounded like he meant it, Bucky was weirdly subdued for the rest of the ride home. Steve couldn’t help but feel like he was totally missing something.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey buddies! Thanks for reading and thanks for all your positive feedback.  
> I'm posting this  
> It's very late and I want to get this posted so I will edit it in the morning, so until then sorry about any mistakes, they're all my own :)  
>  **Just a warning** , this chapter is pretty "coming out" heavy. There is talk of it, there's actual coming-outs and while nearly all the friends' reactions are positive, Bucky has a negative reaction to Steve's - but NOT for homophobic reasons.  
> If you think this could possibly upset you/make you uncomfortable please check the end notes for more deets but know that there are massive spoilers in order to explain the situation.  
> Other than that, happy reading my friends!

 

            “Barnes!” He could hear his coach yelling at him from the sideline. “If you don’t get your head outta your ass and into the game I’m gonna sub you out!”

            Bucky made a frustrated grunt and tried to focus harder on the game. It was kind of tough, though with Steve in the audience. Sure, Steve had been to nearly every single one of Bucky’s games – even the ones freshman year when Bucky was on JV – but tonight was different.

            Usually Steve came with their friends or Bucky’s family. But tonight he was in between Abbie and Hanna. Peggy and Angie were sat in front of him, but even Bucky could tell from the field that the majority of Steve’s attention was on Hanna.

            They’d stopped going on double dates together sometime around the end of sophomore year. Either the girl had no interest in Steve or he had no interest in her so Steve insisted Bucky stop setting him up. But Steve looked really engaged in his conversation with Hanna – laughing and smiling, and barely paying any attention to Bucky and the field.

            He forced himself out of his preoccupation, knowing if he let himself sink into the game at least he’d have something to focus on other than Steve. They ended up winning which Bucky was thankful for, mainly because losing would’ve only soured his mood more.

            He texted Steve once he was in the locker room, letting him know that he’d be out in around fifteen minutes after he’d showered and changed.

            Once he was out of the locker room he met up with Steve and the girls. They broke off into pairs, Abbie with him, Hanna with Steve, to meet up at the ice cream shop down the road. It was surprisingly busy for a Wednesday night – most of the patrons students or soccer players from their high school.

            They ordered and snagged a booth towards the back. Bucky was glad for the semi-privacy of their location, at least in comparison to the rest of the room.

            For the first time on a double date, Steve paid more attention to the girl than he did to Bucky. Steve and Hanna had _so_ much in common. They talked about art and what they wanted to do with it – Hanna wants to draw for comics or graphic novels and that gets Steve _really_ excited. Hanna listens to all the obscure indie bands that Steve was always trying to get Bucky to pay attention to.

            Bucky sat there picking at his Rocky Road, trying to come off as invested in the conversation, all while he was watching his worst fear happen right before his eyes.

            By the end of the night, he knew he had to end things with Abbie. He thought she could sense that things were off with him – Steve definitely could, he’d been throwing him concerned glances all night. It wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t fair to any of the girls he’d gone out with since starting to acknowledge his giant crush on Steve. He knew now, how much it hurt when the object of your affection didn’t reciprocate your feelings.

            He made a solid pact to himself that night in the booth of the ice cream parlor that from then on he wouldn’t date anyone until he was over Steve. He promised himself that he’d end things with Abbie tonight, in person. No more ignoring texts and blowing people off.

            With that in mind, he perked up pretty noticeably. If things progressed between Steve and Hanna, he would be happy for Steve. Bucky refused to ever do anything as shitty as what happened the year before with Lorraine ever again.

            Steve deserved to be happy. If that meant that Bucky had to let him go, even just a little bit, then he was willing to do that. For Steve.

 

* * *

 

            Steve was nervous driving Hanna home. He’d had a really great night hanging out with her and he definitely enjoyed her company. He just wasn’t sure if she got the wrong idea or not from the whole “double-date” thing.

            It was kind of shitty to agree to it, Steve knew that but he almost couldn’t help himself. Either way though, he really enjoyed being around Hanna and talking to her about their many mutual interests – there was just nothing there romantically.

            So, as he pulled up to drop her off at her house, his heart pounded in his chest. Not because he was nervous about giving her a kiss goodnight, but because he was nervous about having to turn her down. Hanna was really, really cool. If anything he wanted to be her friend.

            “So, I hear Freezerburn will be in town close to Halloween,” She started as Steve put his car in park in her driveway. “We should totally go see them together now that I’ve finally found someone who likes them _almost_ as much as I do.”

            “Hanna that sounds awesome but I think – ”

            “Just as friends, I know,” She said, throwing Steve a wink. “Listen I see the way you look at Bucky.”

            Oh god, was it really that obvious?

            “I can totally understand. Trust me,” Hanna continued. “But Steve you’re awesome. You’re artistic and you have great taste in music and you have just as much of a hard on for social justice as I do – which is seriously saying something.”

            Steve actually laughed out loud at that. “Thanks, I guess?”

            “Oh, totally a compliment,” Hanna grinned. “What I’m trying to say is that I know this was supposed to be a double date, but I’m not looking to date right now. I could, however, use more friends like you. So whaddya say? Friends?”

            “Oh thank god,” Steve breathed and Hanna laughed. “You just voiced everything I wanted to say to you. Honestly, all the same goes back to you. Totally, 100% friends.”

            “Awesome,” Hanna said, leaning over the center console to kiss Steve on the cheek. “For what it’s worth,” she added, reaching for the door handle, “I think you should tell him how you feel. That’s my advice, friend to friend.”

            “I’ll consider it,” he said, actually meaning it. Hanna exited his car gracefully, waving at him with a grin as she headed back to her house.

            He rolled down his window right before Hanna got to her door.

            “Hey Hanna!” He called, then waited until she turned around to yell out, “thanks!”

            “Just know you can’t get rid of me now,” She called back. “See you in class!”

            Once she was safely inside Steve drove off, feeling much lighter. He mulled over her words the entire ride home. Honestly, it was time. He was sick of pining away for Bucky. Either he’d tell Bucky and his wildest dreams would come true, or he’d get a gentle rejection and could start to move on with his life. The next time he and Bucky were alone together, he’d find some way to get it out.

            As fate would have it he pulled into his own driveway just as Bucky was getting out of his car.

            Bucky waited until Steve turned his car off and got out. He smiled at Steve but his eyes were somber, like they’d been at the beginning of the double date.

            “You look rather happy,” Bucky said in a light tone. “You get a goodnight kiss?”

            “Nah,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Hanna’s really awesome. But I think we’re both better off friends, you know?”

            Bucky looked genuinely confused by that. “But you guys hit it off so well. You have so much in common.”

            “Yeah, but commonalities don’t always mean romantic attraction,” Steve shrugged. “Besides, I’d rather date someone who’s complimentary to me, not very similar. ‘Sides, either way I totally have a friend to go to weird underground music concerts with me now.”

            Bucky smiled at that. It still didn’t reach his eyes.

            “Everything okay, Buck?”

            Bucky hesitated for a moment, like he was trying to find the exact words to say.

            “I uh, I ended things with Abbie,” He said eventually.

            “Aw man, I’m sorry Buck,” Steve started, and then paused. “Wait you ended things with her? Like told her straight up you don’t want to see her anymore?”

            This was it. This could be his chance.

            “Yeah,” Buck said quietly. “I’m sick of the games. I’m sick of hurting people. I think – I think I need to take a break from dating for a while y’know?”

            Or maybe not.

            “Whatever you think is best for you, Bucky,” Steve said, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. “I’m proud of you though, for being straightforward with her.”

            “Yeah, it still feels really shitty though,” Bucky said. “I feel really shitty.”

            Okay, so maybe then Steve wouldn’t confess his love to his best friend tonight. Bucky had made it pretty clear that he wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment. Steve didn’t think his confession would make Bucky’s mood any better. But right now, Bucky need him – as his friend.

            “C’mere you jerk, it’s gonna be okay” Steve said, pulling Bucky into a hug. Bucky hesitated before wrapping his arms around Steve and burying his face in Steve’s hair. “It’s not too late, you can come up and kick my ass in Mario Kart if you want. I know that always makes you feel a little better.”

            Bucky laughed into Steve’s hair, warm breath ghosting over gold locks. He pulled away and smiled at Steve – this time it actually reached his eyes.

            “I’d love that, Stevie.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Bucky and Steve rode to school together – Bucky would drive one week and Steve the next. Even just those fifteen minutes of time alone at the beginning and then the end of the school day with Steve were some of the favorite parts of Bucky’s day.

            It was Bucky’s week to drive and for the first time in the past two weeks, Bucky felt like things between he and Steve were great. He’d never meant for his love for his best friend to impede on their friendship, so accepting that it was time to move on from Steve helped him ease back into the swing of things.

            Sure, the small part of him that he was trying to beat into submission was happy that he wouldn’t have to see Hanna and Steve prancing around school grounds holding hands. But he was going to have to try harder to be a good friend the next time something like that happened.

            So things were going to get better. Bucky was sure of it. Bucky could feel it as he and Steve drove to school the morning after their double date.

            Of course, he was dead wrong.

 

* * *

       

            The double date got brought up at lunch, of course. Steve had expected nothing less. His friends, as usual, made friendly jokes to Bucky about “another one bites the dust” in regards to Abbie. Even though Steve knew the jokes weren’t made out of malice, from the look on Bucky’s face they still seemed to hurt his friend a little. However, their friends all seemed fairly proud that Bucky ended things face to face instead of just ignoring the girl until she got the picture like he usually did.

            “And what about our boy Steve over here, friendzoning the ladies left and right!” Tony crowed, grinning.

            Tony got an elbow from Peggy for that and a kick to the shin from Natasha. Steve smirked into his sandwich. Steve hated that word as much as they did.

            “You know it wasn’t like that,” Steve said, still smiling at Peggy and Natasha’s antics. “Hanna really is awesome. Doesn’t mean I want to date her.”

            “Well Steve-o,” Tony shrugged, “good for you. Maybe senior year is the year you find a girl actually worthy of you.”

            “Or a guy,” Clint offered from his spot next to Natasha. The group at the table let out quiet giggles. To be honest, Steve had thought to himself, this could be the perfect time to come out to his friends. They all already knew about Peggy and they’d taken to it well. Steve thought it could finally be his turn to tell all his friends at once.

            “Oh, quit it Clint,” Bucky said from next to Steve. Steve wasn’t sure if Bucky was trying to stand up for him or what, but there was an edge to Bucky’s voice and Steve didn’t like it.

            “Hey,” Clint defended nonchalantly, “I’m just being equal opportunity.”

            “He’s right,” Steve said, as if he were commenting on the weather. Maybe it was time, or maybe he was doing it to spite Bucky, but either way every head at the table turned towards him.

            He locked eyes with Peggy, who gave him an encouraging nod. Natasha raised an eyebrow with a knowing look in her eyes.

            “ _What_?” Bucky asked from beside him, sounding very taken aback.

            “Clint’s right. I’m equal opportunity…or I guess you could just say I’m bi.”

            Peggy reached across the table to take his hand, grinning.

            “I’m really glad you feel comfortable enough to tell us this,” Jane said from the other end of the table, smiling sweetly.

            “My friend, as soon as you turn eighteen Riley and I are totally introducing you to the world of gay clubs,” Sam said, grinning ear to ear.

            Steve narrowed his eyes, “Sam, you’re not even eighteen yet.”

            “Fake I.D. buddy,” Sam replied with a wink.

            The rest of his friends gave him words or looks of encouragement as well – all except Bucky.

            When Steve finally stole a glance at Bucky, the only word to describe his best friend’s expression was _betrayed_. It hit Steve like a plunge into cold water. Did it bother Bucky? He was certain Bucky wasn’t homophobic – he’d been overly supportive of Peggy – but why was he looking at Steve like that?

            His friend opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, and then closed it. Before Steve could think of anything to say, the bell rang and Bucky was up and out of his seat like it had burned him.

            As Steve tried to follow him, calling out his best friend’s name, he suddenly knew how it must’ve felt to be Bucky that time – just mere weeks ago – when Steve had done the same to him.

 

* * *

 

 

            Bucky knew it was a cowardly thing to do, leaving Steve like that, but _shit._ Steve was bisexual. Steve just came out as bisexual in front of all their friends.

            Bucky’s mind was switching endlessly between “ _holy shit he’s not straight tell him how you feel you idiot_ ” and “ _wait why didn’t he tell me?_ ” From the look Peggy gave him and her grabbing his hand in support, Peggy had to have known.

            So if Steve had told Peggy, why hadn’t he told Bucky? Did he think Bucky would be uncomfortable with it? Did he not trust Bucky to keep it a secret? The rest of the school day passed in a blur and Bucky couldn’t focus on anything in his classes as thoughts about Steve’s big reveal raced through his head. He almost forgot he was going to have to face Steve sooner or later until his last class of the day.

            He had no idea what to say.

            As he made his way to his car at the end of the day he decided that he needed to apologize to Steve right off the bat. Let him know the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that Bucky definitely wasn’t upset about the whole bisexuality thing. He sat in his car, waiting for Steve to come out and his heart broke when he saw his friend walking towards his car.

            Steve’s shoulders were slumped and he looked definitely _very_ upset. Bucky knew he had to make one hell of an apology in order to make this right. Steve got into Bucky’s car silently and didn’t say anything as Bucky turned his car on and made his way out of the school parking lot.

            The drive was quiet for the first few minutes, Bucky trying really hard to think of the best way to apologize and let Steve know he supported him no matter what

            But instead of an apology, all that came out was, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            _Ah shit._

            Steve bristled immediately.

            “Listen, Buck, if you have a problem with me bein’ Bi then just say it and stop with this passive-aggressive shit.”

            “You know I don’t have a problem with it, I supported Peggy when she told us – why would it be any different for you?”

            “Because I’m a guy and your best friend and we have sleepovers and shit? I dunno Bucky why don’t you tell me seeing as you ran off today as soon as I told everyone,” Steve muttered.

            “Really Steve? We both know I’m not a homophobe and that nothing like that could ever change our friendship.”

            “Then what’s your problem? Why are you being such an asshole about this?”

            “Because! _You never told me_. You told Peggy before you told me. You told all our friends at the same time that you told me – I thought as your oldest and closest friend I would’ve at least been one of the first to know,” Bucky said, voice rising and temper flaring.

His temper ebbed just as quickly as it came though, once he saw the look on Steve’s face. Before he could apologize, Steve countered back.

            “Are you seriously turning this around on _me_ right now? I did probably one of the riskiest things I’ve ever done today and it took a lot of courage and you’re pissed cause I didn’t tell you first?”

            God, when Steve put it that way – it really made Bucky seem just as petty as he felt. Bucky nearly missed his own driveway so caught up in their argument. He pulled in front of his house, parking his car and turning it off.

            “We’re best friends Steve. I thought we told each other everything,” Bucky said, weakly. He knew it was a low blow and he knew it was a crappy argument. But a small part of him really was upset that Steve hadn’t felt comfortable enough to confide in him.

            “Screw you Bucky, don’t you dare try to guilt trip me,” Steve said, gathering up his things and getting out of the car. “If you were really my best friend you wouldn’t be acting like this. This isn’t about you, Bucky, it’s about me. So let me know when you’re done being such a dick about it.”

            Steve slammed the car door and stalked across the lawn in between their houses. Bucky could pretty much feel Steve’s front door slam too from the car.

            Bucky sat in his car for a while after, head in his hands, not sure what else to do.

            “ _God_ I fucked up,” he whispered to himself. 

            And he wasn’t quite sure how to fix it.

 

* * *

 

 

            “I could kill him very discreetly and no one would ever know,” Peggy offered.

            Steve tried to smile at her, but he still couldn’t quite manage it. His mom was working until 8 that night and Steve really didn’t want to be alone, so he’d called Peggy once he’d gotten a hold of himself after his fight with Bucky. They were hanging out in her room with the TV on for background noise.

            “Killing him won’t be necessary. However, if you wanna scare him a little bit, give him hell for being such an ass you have my full permission.”

            “I just don’t understand why he reacted like that. It makes no sense,” Peggy said, mostly to herself.

            “I’m just as clueless as you,” Steve shruged. “But, honestly Peg, I really don’t want to talk about Bucky any more, it’s just bringing me down.”

            Peggy smiled at him a little sadly and said, “Alright, darling. Then how about I share some good news?”

            Steve perked up at that, eyebrows raised.

            “Good news? Are you talking about…?”

            “Yes, I uh – I asked Angie out on a date earlier today,” Peggy said, smiling to herself. “We’re going to dinner this weekend.”

            “Oh my god, yes!” Steve gasped grinning. “Holy shit Peg, I’m so excited for you!”

            And he was, he _really_ was. The conversation shifted from Steve’s earlier fallout with Bucky to Peggy’s upcoming date and everything about it. It was really easy to be excited for one of his best friends having a shot at the person she wanted most.

            It was also a nice distraction from the roiling in his stomach at everything that had happened that day.

 

* * *

 

            Bucky woke up the next day feeling like shit.

            He hadn’t gotten much sleep and he may or may not have cried on and off the night before, fighting everything inside him to stop himself from calling Steve and begging for forgiveness. He knew he needed to give Steve some time and space to cool off before he tried apologizing –really apologizing this time and not starting a dumb fight that was all his fault.

            He’d called Natasha the night before, but after he’d told her what happened she’d just cursed at him in Russian, muttered “get your shit together, Barnes,” and hung up.

            He was anxious for the ride to school, but this time around he has a solid apology ready to go. Bucky was literally ready to beg for Steve’s forgiveness. He’d even gone to the grocery store the night before and bought a small box of Steve’s favorite Krispy Kreme donuts to give to Steve as a breakfast peace offering.

            Only, when he walked outside his house to get into his car – he noticed that only Sarah’s car was in the driveway. Steve’s was gone, meaning he’d driven himself to school.

            This was bad. Any other pesky argument they’d ever had since starting their carpool deal at the beginning of junior year – Steve had never driven himself to school when it was Bucky’s week to drive.

            Bucky knew he needed to get to school as soon as possible and find Steve.

            He had no luck before first period or between classes so he was banking on lunch.

            Steve wasn’t at their lunch table. And neither was Peggy. Bucky was pretty sure he looked about the equivalent of a kicked puppy throughout the entire lunch hour – which was confirmed by his friends asking what was up. He brushed them off, only to lock eyes with Natasha. The look she gave him mirrored the exact words she’d said to him the night before on the phone.

            Frustrated and desperate, Bucky tried to find Peggy – but didn’t have much luck until the school day was over when Peggy came to find _him._

            “James,” She snapped, honestly scaring the shit out of him, as he took what he needed for the weekend – plus the neglected donuts – out of his locker.

            Her face read, “I mean business” until she saw the box of Steve’s favorites in his hand – and took in Bucky’s harried, sleep deprived state.

            “Oh you poor soul,” she sighed, face softening. “You’re actually worse off than he is. Here I thought I would get a chance to kick your ass a little. But I’m not one to kick a man while he’s down.”

            “If you wanna kick my ass I wouldn’t blame you,” Bucky said sullenly, closing his locker.  “It’s not like I wouldn’t deserve it.”

            “Oh, enough with the self loathing, that’s not going to get your boy back.”

            “He’s not my – ”

            Peggy leveled him with a glare and so he wisely shut up.

            “Listen, I can understand why you’re upset that Steve didn’t tell you,” she said gently. “However, there is absolutely no excuse for the way you acted.”

            “I know,” Bucky muttered.

            “So now, you’re going to fix it. You must understand that Steve told me probably because I came to him about my possible bisexuality first. When I opened up to him, that’s what urged him to open up to me. It’s hard to be alone in something like that and I think for a long time he was still trying to get a grasp on it.

            “Plus, our situations were fairly…similar of how we came upon the realization that we were bi. So we bonded over that. Steve’s wanted to tell you for a very long time now. It’s just…James you must know how scary it is to come out to the people you love most.”

            God, Bucky felt like an asshole. He’d been so wrapped up in his own pettiness and Steve had thought Bucky didn’t approve of his sexuality.

            “I’m an asshole,” Bucky said, banging his forehead onto his locker.

            Peggy just smiled, not contradicting him.

            “Besides,” she continued, “I don’t think he planned for what happened at lunch yesterday. He pretty much just saw the opportunity and took it. I think in any other situation he would’ve told you before he told the entirety of our friends.”

            “So what do I do now? How do I fix this?” Bucky asked desperately.

            “First things first, you put your big boy pants on and you admit that you were wrong. Then apologize and explain to him – _without_ putting the blame on him this time – why you were so upset. But you have to let him know that you know you are in the wrong. And that regardless of how you feel, this isn’t about you and you understand why and how you hurt him.”

            Bucky nodded, “The apology I had ready for this morning pretty much covered all those bases. Thanks Peggy, I really mean it.”

            As he walked away Peggy called after him, “Oh and James? Makes sure you have the donuts when you apologize, it’ll soften him up a little bit.”

 

* * *

 

            His mom had just left for her night shift at the hospital when the doorbell rang. Expecting the pizza man, Steve swung the door open without a second thought, only to find Bucky standing on his porch.

            His friend intercepted Steve’s attempt to immediately shut the door in Bucky’s face by stopping the door with his arm. Once he realized Steve wasn’t going to attempt to slam the door in his face again he held his hands out in a placating gesture.

            “Just hear me out, okay?” Bucky pleaded. As soon as Steve saw that not only had his extended version of The Fellowship of the Ring tucked under his arm, but a box of glazed Krispy Kreme donuts with chocolate glazed frosting and sprinkles, his favorite, he knew he’d give in to Bucky’s demands.

            “Come in,” Steve said stiffly, hoping he wouldn’t regret it. Bucky followed him as he walked to his living room and plopped down on the couch. Bucky did the same, just sat at a considerably further distance than he normally would.

            He held out the box of donuts as a peace offering, and though Steve glared at him he took the donuts anyway. He wasn’t going to turn down donuts no matter how pissed he was at Bucky.

            “So I obviously came here to apologize,” Bucky started, clearing his throat. “I understand that I had no right whatsoever to react the way I did yesterday. Your sexuality is your business and it should be your right to keep it to yourself.”

            Steve remained silent, he didn’t want to forgive Bucky quite yet – he wanted to make sure Bucky’s apology was sincere and he understood why he was in the wrong.

            “I was a total and complete asshole and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings the way I did. I’m especially sorry for storming off after lunch and exploding on you like that in the car. I should not have taken my needless, petty anger out on you like that. And as – hopefully still – your best friend, I understand that you’re not obligated to ever tell me anything you’re not comfortable with sharing. I’m just…I’m so sorry Steve. All of it was so wrong and I understand completely why you’re upset and how I hurt you. Regardless of whether or not you forgive me – I promise I will never treat you like that ever again.”

            No sure of what to say in light of such a heartfelt, thought-out, and genuine apology – Steve turned to his comfort zone, sarcasm.

            “Practice that in the mirror beforehand, Bucky?” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

            It worked, for the most part. Bucky huffed out a laugh though his rigid body language and apprehensive expression didn’t change.

            “I did, actually,” Bucky admitted. “Been writing that apology in my head pretty much ever since you got outta my car yesterday.”

            “Bucky, you gotta understand, I’d done this thing. This huge, scary thing and you blew me off. I thought…I was scared to tell you cause I was afraid of how you’d react that you wouldn’t want to be my friend any more. I know now that it’s stupid and that you’d never do that to me, but when you left lunch that’s all I could think about for the rest of the day,” Steve explained trying to fight off a sniffle. He hated fighting with Bucky and he hated making himself vulnerable like this and oh god, Steve was starting to get emotional. He was really afraid that that’s what this inevitable confrontation would lead to and it was actually happening. 

            When Bucky realized this though, he bridged the gap between them, crushing Steve into an awkward side hug.

            “God, Steve no. No, no, _no_. That could never happen. I would never leave you, ever. I’m serious punk, you’re stuck with me. I’m sorry that I made you think I didn’t want to be your friend just cause I was bein’ a petty asshole. God, I am so sorry.”

            Steve let himself fall into Bucky’s embrace, still sniffling a bit, and a huge weight lifted off his chest.

            “I forgive you Buck. I’m not gonna say ‘it’s okay, ’ cause it wasn’t. But I do forgive you. It’s not your fault you’re such a knuckled-headed asshole. Just, maybe next time explain to me why you’re upset before storming away so we never have a misunderstanding like this ever again.”

            “Yes, of course,” Bucky said, letting out an audible sigh of relief. “You’re my best friend, Stevie, and I don’t want to lose you. I _can’t_ lose you.”

            A knock on the door jolted them both from their embrace.

            “Ah, pizza guy,” Steve said, clearing his throat. He paid the guy quickly, thanking him as he closed the door. Bucky eyed him nervously as he came back into the room.

            “I know your mom’s on the night shift tonight, so that’s why I brought over Fellowship of the Ring,” Bucky explained. “Hoped if everything went okay I’d keep you company like I normally do? But if you want me to go, just say the word.”

            “’Course I want to stay,” Steve said easily, setting the pizza box down. “Help yourself. I’ll get the movie going.”

            They busied themselves with pizza and Lord of the Rings – Steve smacking away Bucky’s hand when he tried to snag a donut – and settled into an easy silence.

            It wasn’t until Legolas was riding into Rivendell with his majestic Elven grace that either of them spoke again.

            “Y’know, I, uh, I’m kinda a hypocrite for how I reacted yesterday,” Bucky said, his voice taking on a nervous tone.

            Steve just made a “hmmm?” noise, more focused on the movie and the slice of pizza he was currently eating.

            “I’m a hypocrite. For being upset with you for not telling me first.”

            That piqued Steve’s interest, “How so?”

            Even in the dim light from the TV, Steve could see Bucky’s face go red. Buky cleared his throat.

            “There’s something I’ve been keeping from you, too,” Bucky said, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. Steve’s heart rate picked up…could it be? Bucky seemed to hesitate for a moment before he said, “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual too.“

            Steve couldn’t help but be just a little disappointed, he’d thought maybe…he shook his head, quickly

            “I’m glad you told me, Buck,” Steve said softly and sincerely, reaching over to grab Bucky’s hand and squeeze it reassuringly. “And you know I support you, no matter what. You can always talk to me about it, too.”

            Bucky whispered a quiet “thank you,” and they both turned their attention back to the movie.

            Even after they’d settled back into Fellowship, Bucky didn’t let go of Steve’s hand.

 

* * *

 

            God he was such an idiot.

            He had the perfect opportunity to admit his feelings to Steve. They’d been so close together on that couch, with the lights off – just the TV illuminating the room. They’d been _alone._ It should’ve been the perfect opportunity to tell Steve how he felt and then lay one on him right then and there – if Steve had wanted it of course.

            And while it was still a huge relief to tell Steve about his sexual awakening – Bucky still beat himself up about chickening out at the last moment for the rest of the weekend. They’d _held hands_ for the rest of the movie for god’s sake!

            Bucky was hopeless.

            On the plus side, things were good again and by Monday at school it was almost like the fight the week before hadn’t happened. Maybe he could wait until the winter formal dance and ask Steve to be his date or something? He’d waited this long – he could wait a few more months. And that way if Steve wasn’t into him like that, he could totally play it off as a “let’s go as friends gesture.”

            It wasn’t until a few days later that Bucky had a revelation.

            He was walking through the halls to his car at the end of the day – Steve had to stay after school to finish a piece for AP Art, so Bucky had driven himself to school that day. As he reached the front of the school, he saw Peggy and Angie talking by their lockers. They exchanged a brief kiss before saying their goodbyes, Angie heading out the school’s main entrance. When Peggy caught Bucky’s dumbfounded look, she only grinned and gave him a knowing look before heading off in the other direction. Probably to one of the many clubs she was part of, or an officer for.

            Peggy’s words from the week before echoed back in his mind as a warm realization dawned over him. _Our situations were similar._

            Peggy and Angie had been friends ever since Bucky could remember.

            Peggy and Angie now appeared to be dating. Yeah, he knew women could be much more openly affectionate than men in their friendships – but friends don’t kiss their friends in school hallways like that.

            Similar situations.

            Maybe Bucky’s brain was getting away from him, but he and Steve had been friends for a really long time – just like Peggy and Angie. Bucky had thought he was getting “I like you vibes” from Steve recently, and he sometimes caught his friend looking at Bucky in the exact way Bucky looked at Steve when he thought Steve wasn’t looking. But he’d written it off to either wishful thinking, or Steve’s deep and longstanding adoration for him as a friend.

            But what if…? What if Steve and Peggy bonded over not only their bisexuality, but also over the fact that they both had things for their best friends?

            Suddenly, Bucky knew there was no way in hell he was going to wait for winter formals. He had to find Steve now.

            He raced through the halls, back the way he came, heading for Steve’s locker hoping he could intercept him before he holed himself up in the art room.

            Thankfully, Bucky caught him at his locker, calling out “Hey Stevie, wait up!” as he rounded the corner to his friend putting his books away.

            “Hey Buck,” Steve said, smiling at his friend. “What’s up?”

            “There’s something I gotta talk to you about,” Bucky said, only mildly out of breath.

            “Can it wait? I really need to get some serious work done on my piece today.”

            “Trust me, I’ve waited long enough for this buddy, I promise I’ll be quick with it. Just, here, come with me!”

            Steve grumbled as Bucky grabbed his arm but followed his friend willingly into the nearest empty classroom.

            “Buck, seriously what’s this all about? Are you okay?”

            Bucky carefully closed the door behind him and grinned – maybe a little bit maniacally – at Steve.

            “Oh, trust me Stevie, I’m great. In fact, I have a confession to make. I wasn’t completely honest with you the other night. There’s something else I’ve been keeping from you.”

            Steve looked mildly worried, “Okay…and that something would be?”

            Bucky couldn’t help but grin as he continued.

            “You see, Peggy came and talked to me last week. She mentioned to me that the reason you’d told her before you told me was that the two of you were in similar situations. And I’ve just seen Peggy and her long time best friend Angie kissin’ by the lockers.”

            Steve’s eyes went impossibly, almost comically wide and all the blood drained from his face.

            “Buck, I can explain –”

            “I’m not done yet,” Bucky said, cutting him off gently. “Like I said, I’ve been keeping something else from you. You see, I got this best friend. He’s tiny, blonde, snarky and will kick your ass without a second thought. I should also mention that he’s the greatest guy I’ve ever known quite a looker too.”

            The color started to return to Steve’s face at that last comment, but he only continued to stare up at Bucky, eye’s still wide.

            “This friend of mine. I like him. _Like_ him like him. A lot. If you get what I mean,” Bucky continued. “He may or may not be the reason I realized I was bi.”

            Bucky watched as the realization washed over Steve’s expressive face.

            “And as long as that friend of mine feels the same way about me as I do about him, I’m gonna kiss him now.”

            Bucky cupped Steve’s cheek, waiting for Steve’s nod of approval before leaning in and kissing his best friend, soft and sweet. He kept it chaste and short, pulling away from Steve – who was still in awe – smiling from ear to ear.

            There was a pause before he had all 95 pounds of Steve Rogers being launched at him as Steve pulled him into another kiss – this one far more desperate than the first.  Bucky made a startled noise, but quickly melted into the kiss, using his hands and experience to coax Steve into something a little less wild. After a moment or so, Steve pulled away and shoved weakly at Bucky’s chest.

            “You _asshole_. God we’re both so dumb. Do you know how long I’ve been pining for you? Oh god, this explains so much. Why you were such a downer on that double date. Is this why you were so weird about the whole Lorraine thing too?”

            Bucky flushed guiltily at that, “yeah. Uh, if we’re confessing things I should probably tell you that she totally was into you but I was a jealous asshole and didn’t want to tell you that.”

            Steve’s forehead fell to Bucky’s chest as he laughed.

            “I should be mad about that, but I’m too happy right now to care.”

            Bucky laughed along with him, wrapping his arms around Steve to pull him closer and dropping a kiss to the top of Steve’s head. He was content to just hold Steve like that for as long as Steve would let him.

            “I really do have to get to the art room though,” Steve groaned after a few moments.

            “That’s okay. You’ll be free later right? Cause I’m totally taking you to Angelo’s for dinner…I mean if you want of course.”

            “Like a date?” Steve asked, voice so sweet and hopeful.

            “One hundred percent a date,” Bucky grinned.

 

* * *

 

 

            They met out at Bucky’s car at 7 that night, and Bucky held his hand on the entire drive to the restaurant. They shared a huge, half cheese half meat lovers – Bucky of course snorted at that – and grinned at each other throughout the whole meal. It was just like any other time they’d hung out, everything between them was so easy. But this time around there was an undertone of something else behind their easy banter and flirting. Something charged.

            Bucky paid for the dinner, which made Steve blush for reasons he couldn’t really explain. But on the car ride home, Steve had a thought that put a little bit of doubt into his mind.

            “Hey Buck?”

            “Yeah Stevie?”

            “You’re not gonna do to me like you did to all the girls right? – I’m sorry that’s such a shitty thing to ask but Bucky this is all or nothing for me and I don’t wanna do this if it’s gonna be over in two weeks,” Steve sighed. “I want us to be up front with each other…so this is me being up front.”

            Bucky took his hand again and pulled it up to his mouth so he could place a gentle kiss to it.

            “It’s a valid concern,” Bucky said, smiling sadly at the road. He kept Steve’s hand in his once more, resting their joined palms on the center console. “But Steve, you gotta realize this is all or nothing for me, too. Nothing I’ve ever felt for anyone could hold a candle to what I feel for you. I’m in this for the long haul, buddy so good luck trying to get rid of me.”

            They exchanged a quick grin and Steve relaxed back into his seat, smiling contentedly to himself for the rest of the ride home.

            Bucky walked him to his door – Steve argued it was ridiculous to do so, but Bucky ignores him and kisses him goodnight on Steve’s front porch.

            Okay so maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous.

            It goes on long enough that the porch light flicks on and his mom opens the door in her night robe, lifting a brow at the two of them.

            “Evening, Ms. Rogers,” Bucky says, charming as ever.

            “Hello, James,” She said back, smiling. His mom had always loved Bucky. “Steve, darling it’s getting late and it’s a school night, I think it’s time to come inside. Besides, boys. I don’t want the neighborhood watch calling me about teenage public indecency happening on my front porch.”

            Steve buried his face in his hands. One glance at Bucky told him he was equally as embarrassed.

            “Oh my god, _ma_ ,” Steve whined.

            “Now, now honey. You know I have no problem with it. But you have to be _smart_ about it. That’s what cars and abandoned car parks were for back in my day.”

            “Oh my god, I am coming inside right now,” Steve said, so his mom would just stop already. “G’night, Buck”

            He gave Bucky a quick peck on the cheek and rushed into his house before his mom could say anything worse. His mom said a quick goodnight to Bucky before she shut the door and turned to Steve with a smug gaze.

            “So, you and James Barnes?” His mom had known for quite a while that Steve was bi. It seemed his mom had also known for quite a while that Steve had a thing for Bucky.

            “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re dating now?”

            Sarah Rogers smiled, “well good for you two. With the way that boy looks at you, I know he’ll treat you well.”

            She kissed Steve on the forehead before giving him one last smile and heading upstairs. Steve went to bed that night with a big, dumb grin on his face.        

            Steve and Bucky show up at lunch the next day, hand in hand, curious as to how their friends will take it. None of them seem overly surprised.

            “So, are you two boyfriends now?” Stark asks nonchalantly, and Bucky gives Steve a look. They hadn’t really talked about this part – but he was almost certain they were on the same page.

            “Yep,” Steve says, squeezing Bucky’s hand and grinning up at him. Bucky grins back. “We’re boyfriends now.”

            “Fuckin’ finally,” Clint says at the end of the table, and their friends go back to their normal lunch conversations.

            “Well, that was easy,” Bucky says and Steve can’t help but give him a quick kiss before they settle into their normal seats at the lunch table.

 

* * *

 

           They do end up going to the winter formal dance together.

            Definitely not as “just friends.”

            Bucky gets them matching boutonnieres.

            Their parents all think it’s hilarious and adorable and there’s _a lot_ of photos taken both by their families and then with all their friends. All and all it’s a fun night; their friends are always a blast and Steve’s surprised he doesn’t have an asthma attack from breaking it down with them on the dance floor. But Steve’s favorite parts are the quiet moments with Bucky, the way his arms feel around Steve as they slow dance, the sweet stolen kisses as they sway together in their school’s gymnasium.

           Steve lifts his head from where it rests on Bucky’s shoulders to look into Bucky’s eyes and wonders how he got so lucky. Judging by the look on his boyfriend’s face, Bucky’s thinking the exact same thing.

            He guesses high school isn’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, Steve comes out to his friends in this chapter. Everyone reacts positively and supports Steve but Bucky who reacts negatively. It is NOT because he disapproves of Steve's bisexuality (that would be a little hypocritical eh?),but because he's upset that Steve didn't tell him first and also for "wow I really like you it would've been nice to know you swung this way" type reasons but to a lesser degree. Regardless, it's still not an appropriate reaction. There are profuse and sincere apologies though, and Bucky understands completely why he's in the wrong and voices this to Steve.  
> There is also a lot of talking and thinking about coming out, and Bucky will inadvertently come out to all their friends by the end of the chapter by dating a certain someone ;)  
> I just wanted to make note of that before the chapter just in case it has the potential to blindside/upset someone or make anyone uncomfortable.  
> Let me know if there's anything I should add to keep my readers safe/happy/comfortable. :)
> 
> ______
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed it :) feel free to come say hi on [tumblr](http://rifthold.tumblr.com/)!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on my [tumblr!](http://ohbarnes.tumblr.com)


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